Home > Silent Theorist, Silent Tours > Superheroes: Men in Tights

Superheroes: Men in Tights

Different people have different visuals coming to their minds once that word is mentioned. People love them for different reasons, and they relate to their struggles in different ways as well. But there remains one undeniable fact that is true and the same for all: whatever initial visuals they’re having upon the mention of a “superhero”, one character is the common denominator in all visuals. He is the one, the only, the bird, and the plane.. he is Superman.

What makes Superman so special, though? What gives him the edge? I mean, sure, in today’s terms, Superman puts on what has got to be one of the gayest outfits ever. From the red boots and undies, that are so fashionably worn on top of the blue tights, to the cape that’s got no added value to neither his skills nor defense mechanism, this superhero has GOT to sue his fashion designer. Yet, Superman, if you’re reading this, please do know that we’ve learned to accept you as you are, with all your shortcomings, and yes, that includes your vibrantly gay costume.

Aside from that, Superman is the only superhero with an extremely generic name, which is basically “man” with “super” as a prefix. This, of course, does not include Superwoman. Call me sexist, if it makes you feel better, but Superwoman is an obvious spin-off of the great Man himself. I wouldn’t want to use the term “milking it”, which is vulgar and inappropriate, to say the least, but I think at one point in time the people behind Superman’s world realized that maybe Superman was missing his other half. They thought of Superwoman at exactly the time when nobody was particularly in need of Superman in a skirt. I’m sorry, folks, but I needed to get that point across, and it’s up to you if you want to praise me or loathe me for it.

Come to think of it, not only is Superman the only superhero with a uniquely plain name, he is also the ONLY superhero who is an Alien disguised as a human-being. All other superheroes are really your everyday Joe (or Jenny, thereof) disguised as a non-human-creature. Spider-man, Batman, Venom, Iron Man, Catwoman, Daredevil, Flash, and Spawn, to name but a few. Of course, others like Hulk and Thing are victims of circumstance, as far as costumes are concerned. But superman really IS an alien hiding behind a human persona.

I’m not trying to re-write Why The World Does Not Need Superman; Lois Lane took care of that. Although, I wonder if she ever stopped to think if her title should say Why Superman Does Not need The World? (if this doesn’t win me a Pulitzer I will be very very disappointed). Going back to my question, what gives Superman the edge? Don’t try to convince me that Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark and Matt Murdock are who they are in the morning and saving the world at night, because that is a flat out, in-your-face kind of misconception. They’ve been in their hide-outs ever since they transformed into superheroes, albeit feeling so distant and lonely; needing so badly to save the world. But our boy, the Man, Superman, he’s actually trying to fit in with the rest of us. He wants to butt-in with commoners day and night, and only saves the world when it needs saving. No personal vendetta, no who-killed-my-mommy kind of vengeance. And that’s what gives him the edge. He is a superhero who desires to become one of us. All others are our fellow humans who have become aliens in the process.

Respect for the Man in Blue Tights!

  1. Miss Good Egg
    December 2, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    I always thought the female version on the other side of the Superman coin is actually “wonder woman” 😀 And speaking of which, there are plenty of wonder women here in the office building plotting vengeance against the supermen in this world 😛

    • December 2, 2009 at 1:15 pm

      LOL! Girl haven’t you heard? Wonder Woman dropped the title, she’s now “Wander Woman” after deciding to go on a tour to promote her upcoming sitcom: “Married… With No Children”. GO BUNDY’s!
      But you hit the nail with the plot thing… supermen these days have become supermaybe’s. What’s the Wonder Woman within you plotting?

  2. Shmee
    December 10, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    One thing I think we all need to all consider, which I think has been overlooked for generations, is the possibility that our fashion-impaired tighty whitey super fast hero friend maybe posing as his “inner woman” when Louis and the rest of the world ain’t lookin’. Is it so far fetched in this day in age to assume that superman is posing as wonder woman or superwoman or even catwoman for that matter to express his inner most feminine desires? Hmm. Food for thought.

  3. March 23, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    Great article, loved it. Superman is my favorite super hero ,with batman, for the reasons you mentioned. Also, did you see Kill Bill vol.2? when Bill Talks about the Man of Steel. When I read this article that scene came to my mind. here it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdWF7kd1tNo&feature=related

    • July 21, 2010 at 12:06 pm

      Greak, here’s to a looong overdue response from a guy who couldn’t update his blog on regular basis! I salute you for relating to this article, and I hope you relate my disappearance with Superman’s 🙂 You know… superheros LOVE to make a big comeback!

      Peace!

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